Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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