I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
But we have bathrooms and they dont
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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