i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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