good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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