somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
