Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nicole vs. Life
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize