either way he was missing a nipple.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
