Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
