Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
