I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
