what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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