are you still at the devil's house?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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