HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
