You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My cat gives me a boner
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This baby is an asshole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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