We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
