And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I deserve this hangover.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
