you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just gift wrapped bread.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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