I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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