Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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