they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
