I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
