she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
