you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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