I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize