so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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