she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
