Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
