That's intense
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
