awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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