Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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