just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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