Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
