hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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