Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
