just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
