How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
