she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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