what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
