You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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