Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
