did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
