I could have mohawked her pubes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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