He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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