Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
