Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
