Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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