im drinking this country out of the recession.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
