I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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