why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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