Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
