Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
