3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
