brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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