Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
