But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
