he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
