You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize