She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
