Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
