toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
