What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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