There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
