I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
