JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
